Everyone's life needs simple rules. Too many rules and they are hard to remember. Too few rules and they can not be enough to navigate the world. Which may be the case for us.
I/we have ONE RULE: DO NOT LIE TO ME/US
It is so simple that it is amazingly hard to follow for those around us. Now a lie which turns out to simply be that the situation changed but I was told right away is not considered " A LIE". A situation where the person thought it was the truth but later found out it was different is also not considered "A LIE".
What is considered "A LIE"? Any untruth or half truth or withheld truth which would or is concealed due to the with-holder being afraid that telling the truth may impact themselves negatively.
By telling a lie the other demonstrates several traits which are contradictory to a continued relationship (at least in its former state). The traits would consist of but are not limited to a lack of trust, lack of prudence, and a lack of understanding that we did not lie when we said that we have ONE RULE.
Sigh... so life is simple... just ONE RULE which governs all decisions regarding our relationships with others. We abide by the rule and it should not be unreasonable to expect reciprocation.
Now there are 11 rules that we govern our own life with but just ONE for relationships with other.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Body Image
I often wonder what my body looks like to others. This is less important than how it looks to me, however. Really I do not know and imagine how it looks like to me which from my mentally ill brain is so hideous that pictures with me in it have been quite rare during the past 6 years or so.
The past few days, I've been working on a few things internally which has brought me here to this contemplation of the morning. I've been actively working on making peace with my/our past. I've been looking at all of the people who have hurt me and saying to them internally: "I love you unconditionally. I forgive you. Now, go and "sin" no more. Which is to say, I love and forgive you now go on from my life and we hope you do not do this to anyone else, won't have the opportunity to do it to us again. It is also easier for me to do this than most others because I currently do not need to be face to face or even phone to phone in contact with those who have hurt me. Some issues are easy but others I feel this "hitch" when saying this internally to that person so there is work to be done before this can be said truthfully. Perhaps it is because some people there are multiple hurts so I need to forgive each one rather than a blanket statement? I've also been forcing my mind to remember 3 successes vividly for every failure that it runs through. My body image, I suppose is next.
Firstly, my entire body is in pain (the soft muscle tissue) due to visiting a couple of different friends over the weekend. Visiting is difficult, but necessary for socialization, due to a strange allergy which is any product which uses Febreze. sigh. It is a wonderful product especially for those of us with house pets but it takes several days of pain to get the effects of coming into contact with it out of my system. Often, I do not even realize what has happened for a day or so after coming into contact with it then the realization hits that we went somewhere different and they must use Febreze. I use to ask my friends, which it was confirmed each time that this was the case, but I don't do this any longer because my friends then worry about inviting me over or they stop using a product that they love. Neither of these options are good ones so it is best that I just don't say anything and try to either have them come over here for visits or meet somewhere, preferably out of doors. You can imagine with so many places using this product to control odors, our life is probably similar to trying to deal with a gluten allergy or any other allergy to a common product. It will take a few more days, we have increased the benedryll so will sleep more but then this will pass. Not nearly as acute as the onset of the allergy (I've not always been allergic to the product but they must have changed the formula about 9 or 10 years ago) which took injections directly into my muscles to get any relief after a major morning of cleaning my own home. I've heard that they have the "old" formula available and might look into that because I miss the clean smell, having 2 house dogs of our own.
Anyway, back to what I did not want to talk about. My body. I think the decision has been reached that we can't live our life without it. (laughing here) Also the decision has been reached that we don't feel this way about anyone else. Doesn't matter, big or small, make up or none, expensive clothing or sweats, hair fresh from the beauty shop or pulled into a pony tail, really does not matter at all how other people are because it is their heart that I look at when making a decision about becoming friends. Of all the people that I know, our heart is HUGE, loving, kind, caring and all of the other traits that we look for in others so why be so difficult to make friends with myself? This is the question of the day.
Wishing everyone a day of being at peace with themselves.
The past few days, I've been working on a few things internally which has brought me here to this contemplation of the morning. I've been actively working on making peace with my/our past. I've been looking at all of the people who have hurt me and saying to them internally: "I love you unconditionally. I forgive you. Now, go and "sin" no more. Which is to say, I love and forgive you now go on from my life and we hope you do not do this to anyone else, won't have the opportunity to do it to us again. It is also easier for me to do this than most others because I currently do not need to be face to face or even phone to phone in contact with those who have hurt me. Some issues are easy but others I feel this "hitch" when saying this internally to that person so there is work to be done before this can be said truthfully. Perhaps it is because some people there are multiple hurts so I need to forgive each one rather than a blanket statement? I've also been forcing my mind to remember 3 successes vividly for every failure that it runs through. My body image, I suppose is next.
Firstly, my entire body is in pain (the soft muscle tissue) due to visiting a couple of different friends over the weekend. Visiting is difficult, but necessary for socialization, due to a strange allergy which is any product which uses Febreze. sigh. It is a wonderful product especially for those of us with house pets but it takes several days of pain to get the effects of coming into contact with it out of my system. Often, I do not even realize what has happened for a day or so after coming into contact with it then the realization hits that we went somewhere different and they must use Febreze. I use to ask my friends, which it was confirmed each time that this was the case, but I don't do this any longer because my friends then worry about inviting me over or they stop using a product that they love. Neither of these options are good ones so it is best that I just don't say anything and try to either have them come over here for visits or meet somewhere, preferably out of doors. You can imagine with so many places using this product to control odors, our life is probably similar to trying to deal with a gluten allergy or any other allergy to a common product. It will take a few more days, we have increased the benedryll so will sleep more but then this will pass. Not nearly as acute as the onset of the allergy (I've not always been allergic to the product but they must have changed the formula about 9 or 10 years ago) which took injections directly into my muscles to get any relief after a major morning of cleaning my own home. I've heard that they have the "old" formula available and might look into that because I miss the clean smell, having 2 house dogs of our own.
Anyway, back to what I did not want to talk about. My body. I think the decision has been reached that we can't live our life without it. (laughing here) Also the decision has been reached that we don't feel this way about anyone else. Doesn't matter, big or small, make up or none, expensive clothing or sweats, hair fresh from the beauty shop or pulled into a pony tail, really does not matter at all how other people are because it is their heart that I look at when making a decision about becoming friends. Of all the people that I know, our heart is HUGE, loving, kind, caring and all of the other traits that we look for in others so why be so difficult to make friends with myself? This is the question of the day.
Wishing everyone a day of being at peace with themselves.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Of Bugs and Problems
Many of you know how I feel about BUGS in our home. For anyone not knowing yet, let me be clear. DIE BUG DIE.... clear enough?
When we somehow had uninvited guests arrive, set up house keeping and were subversively planning a coup d'etat upon our unsuspecting household I WOKE UP from a very long emotional sleep. Bed Bugs. Oh my the big one because they are so very resourceful, insidious, lying, cheating little bastards who only come out in the middle of the night when we are in deepest sleep to work their own personal plan. We are and will be forever grateful to them and the fact that we have not seen one in over 5 weeks now but today will flip the mattresses, inspect under the bed and reapply dust as insurance.
Why am I grateful to these little buggers? Because they woke me up in a HUGE way that the previous years roach escapade somehow failed to manage. We are supposing that getting roaches from the neighbors who moved in next door to us was just not BIG enough to do the job. OH that escapade woke us up to a small degree but certainly not the mania that bed bugs sent us into.
Our physical social circle of friends were drug along the complete cycle of the event along with me as it was over whelming, consumed our every moments thoughts and the terror of it all has not seen the equal in any scary movie to date. I completely quarantined us except for my Partner going to work or a quick visit to the store to contain the little monsters. Only through containment could we assault them with our counter attack. Yes, it still is quite vivid in our memory and just this past few days have we been able to go to bed without a full check of the bedroom, walls, door frames, window frames, behind dressers, under bed, under blankets etc. We still continue to place anything cloth that has been "sterilized" into white trash bags then seal them shut before storing them until needed to be used unless they are being placed into a container which has been prepared for them.
OK so now that we have gone through a little post traumatic stress with you over it, lets get onto why we wanted to write this today.
One thing that people said while trying to calm me was this:
You had no choice regarding getting them
You have a choice regarding keeping them
What a wonderful statement to take with us through out life. It is a mantra in our thought patterns now when we think of a problem in our lives. Now wasn't that worth getting bugs for? I mean how utterly fantastic is that? We woke up AND we found something to hold onto during our darkest hours. We had a choice (which was the first weeks mental assault upon our mentally ill brain) of trying to figure out where it came from and place blame OR to get busy and KILL THEM ALL.
Wishing you a bug free/problem free day OR a sprayer full of OUT YOU GO.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Sharing our Intimate Self with Friends
One of the most frightening things in the world is to share our authentic selves with others. We know, from early childhood, by blending in with others the perception will be one of competence, one of familiarity and one of warmth. The others will feel comfortable sharing in return which has a pretty darn good chance of becoming an opening for a possible friendship.
For the lonely, for the misfits, for the absolutely fantastic unique individuals not fitting into this mold we hide to prevent becoming ostracized. Becoming ostracized from groups became the normal, usually in early childhood. We were not chosen for teams. We were considered weird, different, defective. We were pushed aside in lines and bullied with adults doing absolutely nothing to help. These actions by our "normal" compatriots eventually eroded our self esteem. Being "different" was not a good thing, in fact it cost in ways which were often insidious by the very ways in which our uniqueness was exposed then ridiculed before becoming banished once again from a circle in which we felt free to be ourselves.
Humans are a pack animal and our very survival depends upon our standing within the pack. I really don't think I need to go into any more detail than this as we can easily view how people in a certain fraternity are handed opportunities that those not in that group will never have. Promotions are based upon who one knows rather than what one knows.
Enough unique individuals are of adult age now to question the validity of the old paradigm. We, through exploring history, can easily see that it is the persons with a unique mind who gave the world most of what it considers the most precious. Sadly, these people were ostracized equally to ourselves and only accepted on the surface of any group wishing to receive the reward of that Unique mind. One trait that I have noticed, that seems to span those of a unique mind, is one of generosity. Sharing their gift was never an issue therefor they were used.
Slowly we have been questioning the very sanity of what is considered normal and in many cases raging against those arcane and antiquated ideas. It is much more difficult to have a person of uniqueness thrown into a hospital and hidden from the world as insane these days.
The royalty of our human race would prefer that we continue to know our place, stop questioning their methods and be good. The problem is that we can not do this because we refuse to be "dumbed down". We refuse to stay silent any longer. We refuse to withhold the gifts which can only come from a mind thinking differently from the world. It is only through these gifts that the human race will survive because our reliance on oil, coal, our polluting the very planet we rely upon must come to a stop. The royalty has no stake in stopping it but they do have a stake in keeping those who are brave enough to speak their unique truth quiet.
Lets not be quiet......
For the lonely, for the misfits, for the absolutely fantastic unique individuals not fitting into this mold we hide to prevent becoming ostracized. Becoming ostracized from groups became the normal, usually in early childhood. We were not chosen for teams. We were considered weird, different, defective. We were pushed aside in lines and bullied with adults doing absolutely nothing to help. These actions by our "normal" compatriots eventually eroded our self esteem. Being "different" was not a good thing, in fact it cost in ways which were often insidious by the very ways in which our uniqueness was exposed then ridiculed before becoming banished once again from a circle in which we felt free to be ourselves.
Humans are a pack animal and our very survival depends upon our standing within the pack. I really don't think I need to go into any more detail than this as we can easily view how people in a certain fraternity are handed opportunities that those not in that group will never have. Promotions are based upon who one knows rather than what one knows.
Enough unique individuals are of adult age now to question the validity of the old paradigm. We, through exploring history, can easily see that it is the persons with a unique mind who gave the world most of what it considers the most precious. Sadly, these people were ostracized equally to ourselves and only accepted on the surface of any group wishing to receive the reward of that Unique mind. One trait that I have noticed, that seems to span those of a unique mind, is one of generosity. Sharing their gift was never an issue therefor they were used.
Slowly we have been questioning the very sanity of what is considered normal and in many cases raging against those arcane and antiquated ideas. It is much more difficult to have a person of uniqueness thrown into a hospital and hidden from the world as insane these days.
The royalty of our human race would prefer that we continue to know our place, stop questioning their methods and be good. The problem is that we can not do this because we refuse to be "dumbed down". We refuse to stay silent any longer. We refuse to withhold the gifts which can only come from a mind thinking differently from the world. It is only through these gifts that the human race will survive because our reliance on oil, coal, our polluting the very planet we rely upon must come to a stop. The royalty has no stake in stopping it but they do have a stake in keeping those who are brave enough to speak their unique truth quiet.
Lets not be quiet......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)